“Be successful” “Follow your passion” “Aim for the moon” “Love yourself” “Be kind”
These all resonate with you, right? has to be. Either as advice from a friend/colleague/relative or from social media posts. It pumps you, gives the adrenaline and makes you all fired up to live by the quotes.
Well I am no advocate nor a moral police and neither any motivational speaker to suggest you or guide you otherwise, but have a few simple questions on the above discussion.
1. For how many of us has it worked this way?
2. Do you even know the meaning of the above quotes/words? (I can bet my life you do not, I will come to that in a while)
3. If it did not work what did you do about it?
4. Lastly why do you think it did not work?
So based on my research and experience from my years in corporate and business I can guarantee the answers to all of the above questions are in the negative by a huge margin.
Often it leads to frustration, anger, discouragement and in most cases forces people to give up and quit.
Now let us take a slightly controversial and acute view on the points above, let me ask you today and I am sure you must have never thought about it this way before. It might make you question a lot of beliefs, understanding and your education system once you go through what I am about to share.
For my views to make sense or even offer slightest of clarity you ought to spend time on yourself and your life so far after reading the article.
I am not about to uncover some hidden secret or a rocket science concept, but a very primal instinct which we all fall prey to and how that has hindered our growth.
The answer to all the above matter and questions resides in one word, a word we were taught in our early school days, and by the help of which we know the World and every thing comprising our lives.
DEFINITION: That magical word is “definition”
Now I know most of you must be scratching your head, mocking me, telling yourself what sort of bullshit is this and how on earth can definition be the root problem and solution to whatever you are stuck in.
Here is my 2 cents, imagine and recollect that whenever an influential person, a celebrity, a successful friend, a millionaire relative or anyone you saw as doing good in life quoted you an advice, manta, success recipe don’t we all jump onto it and take a note of it in our head? We do. We tend to follow and refer to their dictionary.
The problem is not this, the problem is in our animal and primal instinct to copy our peers, without working our brain. This is the root cause.
Let me explain in detail at what I am hinting, all I am saying is to
“Define what success/hardwork/love/passion/etc is for you”
Pick any successful athlete, artist, author, businessman, sportsperson or any profession you are pursuing or want to pursue, delve deeper into their life and you will find two thnigs, first ABSOLUTE Clarity on who they are, second They define things for themselves and DO NOT follow the dictionary the world throws at them.
The above words are a treasure trove which I have uncovered by being the monkey living off other people’s dictionary and failing without fail. It is obvious when you think deeper.
Imagine an author comparing success of a swimmer, then he starts following his ideas, responses to life/situations/problems all of these while he/she is not even aware of it as it happens on a sub-conscious level.
In your mind you beat yourself down when you do not match your friend in an exam or you do not do well in a race or a quiz, but is it your quest at all?
All of us are unique, internally. Externally it is the same bottle we look like which makes us look over what is inside us, and what works for us.
World at large and education system in particular has failed us in this aspect, because they have given us a generalised world/formula and never taught us to define ourselves and different aspects of life for ourselves.
So I request you to take time and write your OWN dictionary, define each word you want to follow or achieve and then start your quest towards it.